Monday, July 25, 2011

Settling Back In

While this may be disjointed and entirely unhelpful to anyone reading it, I am still going to just write whatever is coming to mind at the moment. Kind of a cathartic exercise for the mind.

My attempts, or lack thereof, at keeping up with this "project" is dismal at the moment and not at all on my mind when I return home at the end of a work day. Nor is it on my mind when I am on the computer, connected to the Internet. I lost the steam that was pushing me, nay, throttling me forward. I have hit what may be referred to as the "one-year slump." Let's be unequivocally truthful in this moment. This collapse is false. I just made it up. Like that. With the snap of my finger. When in moments of mindful clarity, I am actually quite talented at inventing truth on the spot. Only those who know my facial expressions can read through the bull that settles upon my face. Smirking gets me every time. 

What am I supposed to write about? How awesome my life is. How perfect everything is. How I go on these wonderfully adventurous escapades in my free time wherein I naturally look cute and adorable in whatever outfit I have happened to throw together. How well I cook and bake without even trying. Well, we all know that my cakes often fall over. Not many of us know this, but I have a tendency to wear not so cute outfits. In fact, I really need to take a shower right now. So no pictures from today will be posted on this stream-of-consciousness rant. 

So I was watching the Bachelorette last night. Go ahead and mock me now. I dare you.  One of the bachelors explained some insight he had recently discovered in himself and then was promptly voted off the island, or chopped. For all his soul-searching, intuitive and well educated ways, the bachelorette simply could not be that well-informed on a daily basis. The bachelor, still a bachelor by the way since he was kicked off, spoke about the Renaissance ideal of making every moment in life beautiful and romantic. He explained that you take the ordinary things, making breakfast for example, an act of romance.

Now before you get all mushy gushy thinking that I've fallen in love... Okay, I have. 

Not really. But that's not the point. The point is that I want to make day to day living more magical and special and beautiful. I want to enjoy life to the fullest and not have any regrets. I may not know where my life is going from here on out, but I never have been given longevity of clarity. Instead I act on instinct and what seems to have been given to me. I desire to act in every stage of my life like the journey is a gift that I don't deserve. Which I don't. But I excited to see where I am taken.

What does this have to do at all with how this post started? Amidst the insecurities that my life demands more adventure in order to lure other people into thinking that it is at all interesting, there lies a gem of hope that everything I do can be wonderfully beautiful. 

Thus I now share with you one of those moments that makes life beautiful.

Plus a picture of a homemade pretzel dog for good measure:

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